I told Bestest earlier today [technically yesterday], that I hadn’t cried since I moved to Texas so I knew when it happened, it would be a big one. And while I’m not necessarily “crying,” there is tear juice leaking out of my eye and I find the reasons behind it strange. (To clarify, not crying the “big one”… at least not yet.)

I’m perusing FB when I come across someone that was once a mentor to me. And it just makes me sad. I don’t think this person truly knows the impact that they had on my life, and while I miss the fact that I could once trust and confide in them, I’m way more upset that they’re unable to see the me that I am now. Because the me that I am now, is WAY different than the me then. I’m still a perfectionist to a fault, I still set insanely high expectations for myself, I’m still quiet when in meetings when I know I should contribute. Those things haven’t changed, but the me otherwise has become more confident and sure of myself and I totally just realized that 6 days into my new job, I got this. I will make this happen and I will be good at it. Failure isn’t an option. And not because of fear like it always used to be, but because I’m just not going to let that happen. I’m doing this for me, and that is the biggest change ever. My heart is set on doing this job and doing it well, and that I will do. And so I’m sad that they only ever saw that completely timid, unsure me when the confident and sure me is so much better. But whether they know it or not… they are part of the reason that I am the me now. And while part of me wishes they could witness the me now, I’m content knowing that that mentorship has ended and they are just a piece of my history that I can build from.