Home    Info    Ask

…like a comet pulled from orbit… I wrote this a couple days and thought I would finally post it…
I’ve felt off all day because I realized something that I’ve known but have been pushing out of my mind for a while. I’ve been set that my job search would not be geographically limited and specifically chose not to even look at positions in the Northeast. If it was South/West of Pennsylvania, I would look at it and if not, I’d skip it entirely. The thing is though, that as much as I’m ready and want to move away, I don’t want to move away from my family and best friend. If I could take them with me, then that would totally be the ideal situation. Except that that’s not how life works.

As much as I hate being unemployed right now, I am so thankful that I’ve gotten to spend time with bestest. I’ve definitely realized that I’ve taken our relationship for granted the past couple years and don’t want that to continue. Recently, I’ve been thinking of this quote:

“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” - Elbert Hubbard

And I don’t think it could be more true… I am fully aware that I am a pain in the ass at times (hell, I pride myself on it most of the time), I’m weird/awkward (also proud of that most of the time), but I also know that I’m a good person and that I deserve to be surrounded by people that appreciate me. Even with knowing this, though, it’s difficult sometimes to truly be yourself with others. There are a select few that I feel like I can 100% be myself around, and with a doubt, bestest is at the very top of this list. I love that we can have full conversations without even saying a single word. I love that we seemingly speak our own language by referring to things in a way that only we know what we’re talking about. I love that I feel like I won’t be judged for anything that I say to her, but that she’ll also call me out on things. I love that we can argue with each other and still fully believe that each of us is right about whatever it is, but accept this and move on. I love how we bicker and beat each other up all in the name of good fun. And I love how she’ll listen, even if I’m not saying anything, when no one else will.

I think this has all become more clear because I’ve actually gotten to spend time with her lately- for the last six years, I’ve been here, there, and everywhere but home, but here I am, 8 minutes away where I can take advantage of actually seeing her when I need a good talk, or to watch or movie, or to talk endlessly about Nathan Fillion. And yes, these things can all happen over a phone, but it’s so much easier to neglect people that you love when they’re not in a reasonable driving distance from you at all times. I’m sorry for that- it was never intended, and I never once stopped believing that you were my best friend.

If there’s anything these last six years have taught me, it’s that people will come in and out of my life, but my best friend is my constant.

I wouldn’t want it any other way.

"Spin Madly On" theme by Margarette Bacani. Powered by Tumblr.