I woke up an hour before my alarm goes off after going to bed at 1am and am so. incredibly. angry. right now. I know some of the reasons, but I’m so taken aback my own self because I never wake up angry. Hell, I rarely get angry.

I have loved my time in TX so far, and really, I have never felt like I could be myself anywhere but here, but now? I’m starting to get people telling me that I need to change who I am because they don’t like it. And as much as I so desperately want to say “Go fuck yourself, I am who I am.” I just can’t. Because I’m a people pleaser and I want people to like me and sometimes I just don’t have the energy to fight anymore.

I’m SO sick of being torn down from the last few weeks. At the end of last week, I had honestly never been so entirely exhausted in every sense of the word. And it got a little bit better this weekend when I went away, but coming back has brought guilt because I wasn’t around and my students play guilt-trips on me for not being here for every little thing. I deserve one weekend off. I had been here and worked for 10 straight weeks without one.

I just don’t know what to do about how much anger is pulsing through me right now. I’m not usually an angry person. I don’t want to be, but how do I get this anger out? I just don’t know.